Undoubtedly it was just an oversight on Thomas Jefferson’s part when he wrote that man’s unalienable rights include “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” — but not free cellphones. True, the telephone hadn’t even been invented in 1776, but surely the Sage of Monticello could have included a right to any and all means of communication. How can one be expected to pursue happiness without it?

To the cheers of those already getting the proverbial free lunch, the federal government, ever eager to expand the category of “rights” in pursuit of more power, has stepped into the breach. “People receiving government support such as Medicaid or food stamps,” writes the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, are now also eligible to receive cellphone service at others’ expense.

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